I need help removing her.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
