I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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