Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
