if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
