what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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