so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
