Fuck appropriateness.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
