I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I enjoy the company of your penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
