I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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