It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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