i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
even my farts smell like vagina
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
