I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
