I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
