Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
