Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
