before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
