you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
