I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
