turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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