i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
