It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
COCAINE IS GR8
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