remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
