He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
