We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
