She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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