butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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