Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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