My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
