I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
