Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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