Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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