I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
