he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
