I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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