Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The Olympian is in my bed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
