Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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