I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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