So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
