Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
