Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
