I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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