Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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