you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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