Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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