is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
