All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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