I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
