I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
