Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
