I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
