i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
