he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
