You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
