I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
